That awful feeling called nostalgia

Lately, I have been rummaging my now word-and-photo-wasteland-of-a-blog. I also tried searching my username on that blog site and found a lot of cutesy photos, a photo of me in just underwear, and lots of sappy love notes that made (and can still make) me feel a lot more beautiful than I am. This one, for example, never fails to make me smile:

I am still, and I think I always will be, amazed with how this guy plays with words. He just has a gift for it! And I'd always be grateful to him for putting in such pretty words together just for me.

But I also remind myself, how these pretty words left me feeling betrayed.

If you truly love someone, and you know it deep inside of you, you know you should not even try to hurt that person. Not even imagine it. Not even think of it in the first place.

Never cling to words. Always check if one's actions convey the same meaning as his words. Make sure they match.

(If ever you get to read this, D, I hope you don't feel bad, you know how inconsistent we were. You know we were so consistent with being inconsistent.)

This explains my paranoia in relationships as well. Altogether with the trust issues and shit.

I miss surrounding myself with beautiful strangers, who would then turn up to be acquaintances, and then friends (should my interpersonal skills would work well on a meet-up day)... here are some of those beautiful people I've met through blogging:

I hope I could drop by on a meet-up again someday~

So much for reminiscing!

I've been feeling more responsible since the year started. I actually started commuting home again (albeit not alone), because I want to stop troubling my mother everyday. I'd go home with her driving for me in her car almost everyday. That's for 4 years in school, and 8 months in work. Now, I'd commute from work because of the following reasons:

• Jay
• I want to stop troubling my mom
• Jay
• I want her to free herself from me as well
• Since I'm not getting any younger
• ...we are not getting any younger
• Alone time is good for mom and I
• Jay
• Because the longest time that Jay and I can spend together for a day are during bus rides home

Still, I always text my mom with an "ingat and I love you mama ko!" once she leaves her office. I'd always be her  baby girl anyway and none of my daughterly(?) sweetness will go away just because I'm getting older. Same goes with my papa.

Shit, I am talking like an adult slowly being independent from her parents. This is bad. Must be the blood flowing out of my vulva. Or maybe because it's 2:39AM as I type.