That awful feeling called nostalgia

Lately, I have been rummaging my now word-and-photo-wasteland-of-a-blog. I also tried searching my username on that blog site and found a lot of cutesy photos, a photo of me in just underwear, and lots of sappy love notes that made (and can still make) me feel a lot more beautiful than I am. This one, for example, never fails to make me smile:

I am still, and I think I always will be, amazed with how this guy plays with words. He just has a gift for it! And I'd always be grateful to him for putting in such pretty words together just for me.

But I also remind myself, how these pretty words left me feeling betrayed.

If you truly love someone, and you know it deep inside of you, you know you should not even try to hurt that person. Not even imagine it. Not even think of it in the first place.

Here's another year coming to a halt and here I am doing a recap!

A whirlwind of events, a whirlwind of emotions as well. This year changed me in so many ways! Both beautiful and drastic changes in nature. Changes that built me up and broke me up (in several pieces), but there's more that built me up. I'm a tougher kid now! And I should also stop calling myself a kid, since I turned twenty this year.

Of all the changes, two things stayed constant: the Monster called regret and the Angel called hope which practically saved my sanity throughout the year. It's as if I constantly had a monster eating me up for everything that I've done when I shouldn't have and everything that I've not done when I should have (I got more of the latter by the way). But, I--like all beings--had to cling to hope, because that's what keeps us going.

On with the recap!

So you say actions speak louder than words?

How come when you're hurt you say "I just want an apology." Really? Just that then you're fine? I am certain an apology would not be enough.

Y'know, some people are just too fucking courteous that they would know when to throw an apology. Okay, okay, a sorry would do... But just for petty things. Like accidentally stepping on my foot, pushing me hard out of the train, spilling your drink on me... Apologize and you'll be forgiven.

Getting really hurt is a different thing though. An apology would be nice, thank you for being courteous, but what you'd really be looking forward to is if the actions that will follow would match the apology.